Ölüm Size Neyi Çağrıştırıyor?
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Kurtuluş derdim de, O'nu kaybettikten sonra sadece siliniş olduğunu anladım. Fiziken, ruhen ama asla kalben değil.
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Sakinlik. Ama bu seferde sonrası korkunç toprak böcek karanlık. Sanki anlık sakinlik. O da bir kurtuluş değil devamı ızdırap skntılı bence. Solucan molucan burnundan giriyoz agzindan çikar göz deliğine giriyor. Pu... İskelet elini kaldırıyon parmakların dokuluyor.
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Ertelenen bir arama, geç kalınan af dileyişler, geç gelen farkındalıklar, o anın güzelliğini kaçırmalar, içinden geleni söyleyemeyişler..
Ve birde, bedenden kurtuluş.
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Kimse ölümü güzellemesin. İki kere ölüme kucak açtım ben. Hayatın bitmesinin ne demek olduğunu en acı şekilde öğrendim. Ölüm her şeye rağmen yaşayabileceğin en güzel anını kaybetmektir. Hiçbir şeyin yokken her şeyini kaybetmektir. Arkamda bir şey bırakmadım dersiniz ama başınızda içi yanan hep biri olur. Yıllara sığdıramadığınız ömrünüzü bir damla göz yaşına sığdıranlar kalır ardınızda. Ölüm kaybetmektir. Ama hayatınızı kaybetmek değil, hayatınızı taşıyan o gözleri kaybetmektir. Bu benim son yorumumdu. Ben gidiyorum. Kendinize iyi bakın. 3 kişi hariç kalbini kırdığım varsa özür dilerim.
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